beneran dah.. iiiih gak banget siiihhhhhhhhhh iiiiiiiiiiiihhhhhhhhhhhh……. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa gw bener2 ilfeel!!
NAJISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS>>>>>> arrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhh
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seneeeeng banget gwee
gimana gak seneng?
hari ini tuh gw uda gugup kan ke kelas,, biasa lah..hari selasa tuh menggugupkan abis, karna kelasnya doc.laguna.. kita tanya-jawab mulu, dan dari satu pertannyaan, ntar ada lagi pertanyaan2 laen.. yang ada tuh pusiiiing, terus kalo kita nanya, kita sendiri yang jawab.. gurunya nanya balik ke kita, dan berusaha membuat kita nyari jawabannya sendiri!!!
ok.. itu tuh salah satu hal yang bikin gw gugup abis kalo mo ke kelas hari selasa…well..tapi doc.laguna bener2 bikin kita belajar, maksudnya BELAJAR BERPIKIR.. yah.. selama ini tuh guru2 laen ngajarin kita dengan “spoon feeding” style.. jadi kita disuapin terus..dikasi teori2 segala macem dan kita kerjaanNya ngafal2 doang..
sedangkan.. ama doc.laguna.. otak kita dipake mikir banget, kerjaanNya mikiiir mulu.. kalo kelas dia tuh tas gw berat banget.. semua buku dibawa.. belom lagi minjem ke library… soalnya kita walopun subject nya ss.prostho.. tapi pembahasanNya luaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssss banget, ampe ke physics, Logic.. bahkan Philosophy of man.. World History juga pernah!!
terus,,,kita juga belajar politik,, menetapkan sistem demokratik di kelas.. berhubung kelas gw cuma 5 orang, 3 cowo dan 2 cewek.. cowo2 ini biasanya pelupa abis dan suka gak peduli ama PR..nganggep enteng gitu deh, guru gw selalu ngasi assignment gitu.. tapi kita suka lupa ngerjain, jadinya lama2 guru gw marah2 deh.. PR nya dibikin jadi 5X lipat..dan kita pusing banget ngerjainNya.. padahal tadinya guru gw bebasin kita..tapi kita menyalah gunakan kepercayaan dia
nah..sejak kita ngerjain tugas yang 5x lipat itu.. kita jadi belajar.. belajar membaca buku.. belajar kerasss deh.. hehe..tapi kita jadi ngerasa seneng, dan puas
Hal2 yang gw inget banget dari doc laguna :
- kalo belajar.. pake 5 senses, hear,smell,touch,sight and taste.. well.. for the sight and hearing, we could really use it when we study sumtin, but for the taste,touch and smell, of course we cudnt literally use those 3 durings studyng, but of course we have a brain, so.. use our imagination to feel what we study = ini dia rahasia buat punya long term memory!
- Love What You Learn = in order to understand something, you should love it first!
- Use your common sense, the general ideas about how things work, and
- Be critical!!! use your mind to analyze things,and act PRUDENTLY,,,meaning that you should really think before you act
- The highest level of human need is one’s fulfillment, or self actualization.. so.. when you’re fulfilled, you would feel more than happy, you feel satisfied and fulfilled.. it’s the greatest feeling that could be filled by a person,,Fulfilment might also be called Self-Actualisation or expressing one’s full potential…katanyaaa.. hehe
Maslow's Hierarchy of needs
gw belajar banyak hal dari doc laguna, tapi yang terpenting bwt gue tuh, adalah… gw harus lebih sering memakai otak gw, sayang kan kalo gak kepake..haha.. maksudnya ya, we’re fat with knowledge, but sometimes, we don’t know what to do with that knowledge, or we juz take the knowledge without analyzing it..gitu deeehh
- Acquisition of knowledge is more important than knowledge itself
gw agak2 ngantuk.. uda malem nih.. lanjutin besok..
wenny loves prostho
walang pasok!
I kinda love this color =D
Holiday!
i don’t wanna go out today,
i don’t wanna be sentimental , but i still remember my daddy, and people still talk about my dad..so, i wanna talk about him, again!
anyway, my blog is not about being read, it’s about being written!
yesterday i chat with my old friend, we were not really close before, but we knew each other well, my friend was one of my dad’s student in UNAI.. and we talked a little about my dad
she told me that my dad was a nice person, and he was always emphasizing about service, service to God, he asked people to sing, to serve God. and he was a friendly person.
I miss Him SO bad… but this is God’s willl.. i have to live without him, i know that i shall see my daddy soon
talking about service, i realized that as i human being, i should live to serve and not to be served, and to be a good servant of God, i have to practice in my daily live to be humble, honest and basically, be like Jesus. it’s not hard if a have a will.
and by the way, i wanted to show you my daddy’s pictures =D
Johny and Mary Nusawakan
they are my parents =D
OUr last Picture
So, this was my last picture with my daddy, before the accident, at the airport, January 8, 2009… the worst day of my life.
January 6, 2009.. tuesday nyte.. @ Pizza Hut Setiabudi, Bandung
my parents were sleeping cos we waited for the pizza for a long time, and when they came, they brought a pizza with a wrong toppings, so..we have to wait again til they brought what we ordered..haha..
eating salad while waiting for the pizza
My mom and my sisters without me and my daddy
the above picture was taken when my mom was admitted in the hospital after the accident, i took the picture.. we miss our dad!!
My Parents again! at K'Lisa's Wedding
Johny Nusawakan... Gwapo Diba??
my papi is handsome ryte??? of course!!!
Saturday Night, December 28,2008
this picture was taken when our family went out to eat at the restaurant (forgot the name!!!) at cihampelas.. the view was great, it’s good that i took pictures of my dad, i thought that i had to take pictures of him cos i will go back to the philippines, juz to remind me of him, didn’t know that i will value this picture so much.
enuff for today… i’ll write more later!
and by the way, i put those pictures for those who wanted to see the pictures of my dad and also for me, to remember him.. and to save him in the internet juz in case my computer broke down and i lost all the memories.
great day!
what a day
today is great.. so far so good.. nothing bad happened to me =D
this morning, i was planning to wash my clothes, but i didn’t do it, cos i’ve decided to do it tomorrow morning..hehe
me and my friends went to molave’s open house, the rooms in A floor were beautiful, one of them, my favorite, painted their room with sky blue and pink vertical stripes, and the room looks really nice, calm and comfy, and it was boys room!!!
the boys prepared food in their rooms, so, i was kinda full i meant, super full when i got back to the dorm
after molave, i went to my room and watched “CINLOK” a hilarious movie played by Tora Sudiro my dream boy (LOL) and Luna Maya, well, guess i really have to find someone who looks like him, i love him so much!!
then… i was really sleepy and i went to sleep.. my phone rang.. i woke up and answered, tante sinaga called me, she told me that she and her friends are already in my dorm’s lobby.. so i went down and they prayed for me
after that, we talked.. a lot of talking which made me remember my dad, they told me that my parents were an ideal couple, they were always together and they were unseparable.
Honestly, it makes me think about my mom, to feel how she feels to be lonely without a spouse who was always together with her, i couldn’t even feel how much pain that she bear to live without my dad, my nice dad.
i mean, i juz realize that my dad was really nice, cos people told me about that, i did not realize it til my dad is gone, and i am really proud of him, seriously.
i didn’t mean to boast about my dad, but really, i feel so proud of him, and i’m still questioning God, “why?” i didn’t get the point why God did this to us.
Tante Sinaga, Om, Tante Paula, Om Richard Sabuin, Om Sony, Tante Vane, Om Benny and Alef were here, visiting me, and they gave me a lot of food, (yay!! hehe) I thank God that i have a lot of food in my room.. other than silverqueen!! haha
you know.. i got addicted to silverqueen since my dad passed, cos i read that chocolates releases a hormone..i forgot the name, maybe phenytoin somethin.. phenylethylamine !!!! it promotes relaxation, fight stress and prevent stress-related illnesses.
haha…
when my silverqueens are finished, i’ll buy cadburys and hershey’s with almonds.. i love chocolates
so..after praying and stuff, i watched movie again.. the title was “Badai Pasti Berlalu” and the story was really really really really really really really really sad.. if i were that girl, i would commit suicide or move to Bali to live alone, or i guess i won’t commit suicide, i will bring my mom to Bali and leave my dad alone.
hhhmmm…. i really thank God that my dad was really nice.
i gotta sleep now…
Jesus, Thanks for Today, I love you
yah..gak ada kelas lagi senen!! ah bete
gila banget… gw pengen banget kelas tau gak?
bukan kelas sih.. kelas mah gw cuma sejam doang sehari.masalahnya pasien2 gw terbengkalai gitu.. gimana doooonnk???? padahal ada 3 hari senen.. ah.. aneh2 aja ni negara bikin libur2 mulu ah..
pokonya gw pengen cliniiiiiiccccc…. ah… gimana donk???
gw kangen nih hangin out ama anak2 dent lagi.. sayangnya seseorang sudah jauuhhh…huhuhuhu…
hari senen ini katanya anniversary nya marshall law yg dibikin ama ferdinand marcos, yah..whatever lah.. pokonya pasien gw gimana? dikira gampang bikin schedule?
yah..daripada gw ngeluh2..mending gw bikin apa gt nanti hari senen.. pokonya gw gak mo keluar.. uda komitment nih.. keluar kl mo makan2 doang..haha.. yah, keluar sih keluar..tapi jangan deh minggu ini..
jadi anak dentistry itu lucu deh.. lucu aja.. gwsering banget nongkrong ama temen2 gw.. ketawa2… bonding time itu namanya.. jadi deket.. pernah juga marah2an.. pernah cuek2an ama Jin.. ya lucu banget, istilahnya dia 8 tahun lebih tua dari gw, dasar om-om..haha..tapi ya, dia best friend gw. pernah juga nangis2 gara2 pasien gw yang difficult banget, yah.. psychologically difficult.. padahal cuma nambal gigi doang.. dasar..
pernah juga jatuh cinta..haha.. bukan cinta sih, hanya perasaan sesaat ama ade kelas yang suka megang2..ah dasar pinoy
terus.. yah.. gw sayang aja, sayang banget ama guru2 gw.. mereka tuh too good to be true… gw sayaaaaang banget ama mereka… seandainya gw mati, gw mau blog gw ini mengatakan sebagai bukti kalo gw sayang mreka..
macem2 deh pengalaman ama guru2
emang sih… orang2 kadang nganggep dentistry itu mudah, padahal mreka gak tau, kita jga belajar pelajaranNya medical doctor, kita juga mati2an buat lewatin pelajaran2 kita.. kita berjuaaaang deh… ampe cape, ampe pengen nangis, pengen shift,,,, jadi ya.. kalo ada yg bilang dentistry gampang, coba dulu jadi anak dent, baru ngomong!!! dent yang proper yak.. bukan pre-dent..haha
gw pernah nih dapet surat cinta dari guru gw, isinya cuma gini “you’re in danger” gw ama jin tuh sama2 dapet surat, trus kita ketawa2… tapi abis itu, belajar mati2an…haha… terus pas lewat, seneng bangeeeet.. istilahnya.. pas mo exam tuh AUP mati listrik 2 minggu, gw belajar pake lilin, terus handout gw kebakara stengah,,,LOL..haha.. terus ya gw tetep aja belajar gitu dengan apa yg ada… jadi yah seneng aja kalo lewaattt
terus pas kelas CD… udah tingkat 2 sem 2 nih… kita harus nyari pasien kan, terus pasien gw uda dateng, gw uda bikin CD procedure ampe,, apa ya? ampe ini nih..mmm… occlussion rim, uda mo bite record lah… taunya dia masuk rumah sakit, sakit jantung apa, apa gitu… terus yawda,,, temen2 gw pada punya pasien.. gw pengen nangis gitu, sendirian, nongkrong kaga ada pasien,, akhrnya gw nangis d library..hhahah.. manja ya?
jadi kangen bokap gw… bokap gw emang bener.. gw bisa kok.. gw aja yang gak percaya diri.. dan gw seneng banget sekarang gw udah tingkat akhir..eheheh.. papii…misss u so much!!!
bokap gw tuh gak pernah maksa2 gw buat belajar, gw mo bolos juga minta izin bokap aja… hehe… karna capek gitu.. terus dibolehin.. gw seneng hidup tanpa paksaaan.. haha.. makanya gw males deh kl dikeras2in.. bete aja.. tapi kalo gw bolos, ntar nyokap gw bilang “mami gak mau ngasi surat sakt” yah emang gw gak sakit sih.. yawda,, sekolah aja lagi..tanpa surat2an..
ok ok… cerita tentang guru gw yang laen.. aduh, nih guru satu nih pinternya minta ampun, dan gw gugup mampus kalo di kelas dia, gak pd gw, ngerasa bego aja.. karna kl dia nanya otak gw frozed langsung.. gak bisa mikir.. dia paling hobby diskusi.. jadi kursi di kelas, dibikin lingkaran… terus kita pas kelas ngobrol aja gitu… tapi harus bawa buku setumpuk dari library, kemaren tuh pelajarn principles of med, kita bawa buku pharmacology, biochemistry, pathology, anatomy!! yeah.. cape deh… tapi asiiik.. haha..
terus pas kita belajar ss.prostho.. kita jadi ngebahas physics.. emang sih di dent tuh kita butuh physics dan trigonometry, buat pelajaran roentgenology sama prosthoS… yah… jangan kita roentgenology tuh gampang… walopun cuma x ray..tapi perjuanganNya itu susahhh…seriously..tanya aja anak2 dent klo gak percaya..huaha
terus ada juga guru gw yang ganteng abis, dia pemain basket disekolahnya, umur kira2 30-an.. terus wangi. mobil bagus, punya rumah sendiri, sepatunya bagus, dan ganteng… belom nikah! yah..kalo ngasi nilai suka tinggi…
ya gw ngefans lah ama dia!!!
terus ada juga guru resto gw yang ngasi gw surat cinta itu, gile deh tuh orang asik banget ngajarnya, dan jelas,, crystal clear… terus ga banyak ngomong gt.. suka ketawa2..dan suka nguping kl kita2 lg ngobrol..haha..tp uda gak ngajar lagi.. belom nikah jg, gw masi sering txt2 dia sih..haha..
yang gw cinta dari dent..AUP cOD sayang…
kita tuh bener2 kaya keluarga… terlalu dekat… jadi manja! kaya gue..
waktu bokap gw meninggal, mereka perhatian banget sama gw, dan gw ngerasa jatuh cinta.. ama semuanya.. gw sayaaaaang banget ama anak dent dan guru2 gw…
gw tuh ga minta izin pulang, gga ngurusin apa2..dan tau gak? dean gw yang duluan ngetxt gw.. bilang kalo dia bakal urus semuanya..
presiden AUP juga baik… gw masi dimana gitu…dia uda nelfon2 gw dengan heboh..padahal kayanya gak kenal2 banget..gw seneng banyak orang yang baik sama gw
soalnya bokap gw baik sih.. makasih ya papi sayang.. gara2 papi baik..orang2 jadi baik sama aku, mami, karini, ernny.. aku sayaaaang banget sama papi.
dan pas gw nyampe AUP..ada beberapa orang nangis2 datengin gw..orang pinoy, orang af… karna mereka sayang sama bokap gw, dan gw sedih tapi bahagia..karna bokap gw banyak yang sayang
waaaa… jadi inget2 papi lagi… huhuhuhuhu…
intinya… hidup di AUP tuh,,, bener2… mengubah hidup gw, gw jadi tau gimana jadi orang yang tidak mementingkan diri sendiri
gw jadi tau kalo life is good, but it aint fairytale
gw jadi tau kalo gw harus berbuat baik sama orang lain..selalu.. bukan kadang2 aja
gw jadi tau..kalo punya pasien itu, gak boleh di treat as a case. but treat them as a person
gw jadi tau yang namanya cinta sejati.. haha.. ama temen n guru2 di dent.. ampe kapanpun.. gw ga bakal benci ama dent. walopun kadang gw bilang kalo gw benci dent… tapi AUP, terutama COD ngajarin gw buat jadi orang, orang baik2… yang gak hanya mentingin uang…tapi cintaaaa…. dan kasih sayang (ya gitu deh.. sori kl ga ngerti)
oh ya… retreat dent yang tahun 2008 itu…aduuuuhhh.. mengubah hidup deh!! huahahahahaha…… senaaaaaaaaaang!!
Tuhan, makasih ya uda sekolahin wenny ke AUP, di COD lagi,,, dan makasih juga uda kasi wenny orang tua yang baik, kaya papi dan mami, jadi pas papi gak ada… banyak papi-papi lain…eh bukan.. maksudnya banyak orang2 yang sayang sama wenny. Tolong wenny supaya bisa jadi orang baik2..n dekat ama Tuhan…
time to move on
it’s so tiring that i keep saying to myself that i have to move on, but i didn’t feel like moving at all
there are a lot of things that is going on in my mind right now, and i really wanted to stop thinking about everything
i couldn’t tell all my problems to my friends, i juz wanna stop, stop all this and rewind everything back to 2008, before that F accident
OK.. I Hate it, I hate it so much, i couldn’t lie to myself anymore, i Hate everything that happened in 2009..
2009 is screwed, everything did not and will not go as i planned, it hurts and i juz want to leave all this and start a new life, but i couldn’t, i hate this so much.. i hate this so much.. i hate this
it’s like.. partial acceptance, i accepted my life as it is now but i hate it, and i couldn’t cry and i couldn’t go to church anymore cos i don’t have any purpose, and i really don’t think that going to church will lead me to heaven, there’s no point of going to church.. i mean.. here.. i don’t feel like “churching” (????)
in the deepest part of my heart, i know that God will make a way, it’s juz., i don’t see it, and i don’t really feel it.. i am so broken,,, i couldn’t tell anyone anymore… i don’t want them to be sick of me.
i feel like leaving this world, but my mom.. i love her, i don’t wanna make her sad, and other people still need me in their lives.
it’s juz.. everything’s screwed… i won’t graduate this march and i lost my dad and i did a LOT,, A LOT, A lOT of mistakes in school, like forgetting how to take centric occlussion and forgetting what nerve to be anesthesized for mandibular block and like forgetting cd practical exam and not taking it.
i feel like an idiot right now, i don’t even know how did i make it to the 4th year? i mean.. how i could i pass everything? i don’t know how, BUT I DID! and i wanted to feel the good spirit now, i wanna be like the old me, i’m not as idiot as lately.
i even screwed my english here… what da hell?? i couldn’t live like this… i don’t know what to do… i’m telling myself that i am happy, but i feel like failing my dad,,,
my dad was really proud of me being a dentist, and he was proud that i could pass everything when my friends couldn’t make it, and i failed him. i really love him so much with all my everything, even more than my life,
well… i will make it late though…
i won’t fail my dad, eventho he’s gone, i will fulfil his dream to see me as a great dentist.
so… i feel so random right now, i couldn’t focus. and i hate caf’s food.. i want pizza hut… pizza!!
gosh
I wanna be smart agaaiiiin!!!!
ok, i’m not really smart, but i’m not really stupid, oh myyyy
so, i suppose to take the CD practical exam on monday, but i forgot, and i was supposed to pass the RPD cast requirements but my knocked down was wrong, for 3 times! i mean,i made mistakes for 3 times, what da heck is wrong with me?!
and then, i lose my pen, again and again, i reallt can’t remember where i put it, it’s like, everytime i go to paseo, i always buy a pen. argh
what shud i dooo???
missing papi..
my dad.
i called him “papi”
Today is valentine’s day, and i want to write something special about someone i love so much
Nice and funny things about my daddy, I WILL never stop LOVING Him…
- Bakso a.k.a Meatball! my daddy likes meatballs and during vacations, he always asked my mom, me n my sisters to go eat some meatballs and noodle at Bakso malang Karapitan, cihampelas walk or sometimes at setiabudi supermarket..we always go out to restaurants til i got typhoid fever last 2008…so, during the last vacation, we ate at our house more often..hehehe.
- my daddy is religious, i mean.. among all the family member, he’s the most religious one, and he’s a good example for us cos of course he’s the head of the family and he’s playin a good role. well.. i’ll make him happy, i’ll try my best to be religious.
- my dad doesn’t know how to cook, so, he always make fruit juices for breakfast, like pineapple, papaya, strawberry, apple, mango, and whatever fruit that is there in my house, he’ll always serve us with fruit juices.
- when he’s working, he will go to the hospital in the morning with my mom, and me and my sister always wake up a little later after they went out, and my dad always call us to remind us to drink the juice, eat breakfast, take the vitamin…etc… he even call juz to ask “have u take a bath?” OMG… i feel so broken without him.
- i have similar abilities with my dad, both of us doesn’t really know how to cook, and to process food, so when my mom is cooking, i’ll help in cutting the vegetables and stuff, and i’m kinda slow, so my dad will always teach me how to hold the knife and how to cut it well, with a good shape of vegetable, so, when i cut the vegetables into a wrong shape, he’ll say “it’s not like that, juz go, let me do it” hehehe.. and i’ll go. haha.. i love my dad, SO MUCH! i’ll be the expert of cutting vegetables, like my dad! haha
- my daddy is patient, me and my family likes goin to the malls to buy stuff, all of us except my dad are female, so of course when we shop, it WILL take a long time, Loooong time! but my daddy never complained, he accompanied us patiently, even when he’s sleepy, and most of the time, he’s the one who carried our things and we juz walk, talk, and shop, what a dad, i love him.
- and when we went out and arrive at home late at night, he’ll carry our stuff, we juz go enter the house and sleep, he’s really nice and we’re spoiled.
- my dad likes politics, he always ask me to watch news in TV together with him, and also some politics programs, he always said “wenny, let’s watch *this or that*, it’s nice…” and i usually prefer to watch drama. OMG.. what an attitude
- and when i really wanted to watch telenovela and drama.. he’ll watch with me and he’ll react on the scene that i like, like romantic scene… he’ll say “i think i’m more handsome than that guy” or “wenny, u like that kind of guy? you should find a guy like me, handsome and cool” LOL.. i miss him.
- oh,,,and when my dad knows what we like (for example, and actor : “Christian Sugiono”) he’ll find out stuff about him and he’ll tell us, haha…
- during my last vacation with my dad, we talked a lot about obama, and i enjoyed it, i love my dad, and seeing or hearing about obama reminds me of my daddy, by the way, it’s obama, “obama” not samuel “barrack” K! LOL..hahahah
- my daddy is like my friend, in our family, we usually eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together, i mean, we should always gather and sit around the dining table and eat together, during eating time, we talked and laugh and tease each other, we’re so close, and i never regret any single time that i had with my dad
- my daddy loves me, he’s really nice, he knows what i want, for example when i was looking at his celphone, he said “wenny, u like it? ok…i’ll give it to wenny”…and some other stuff, i mean, he knows what i like even when i didn’t say it, when i stare at something, he’ll say “wenny, u like it?”,, i miss him sooo much!!!
- My dad always accompanny me to the HOSPITAL, and i juz realized that i am 22 years old and i’m spoiled. i can’t go there without him, it’s like so scary to go to the doctor’s office without my dad, and even to the pharmacy, and i realized that i’m too old to be spoiled.
- last time we went to the hospital, my daddy doesn’t want to accompany me even when i beg him with all my heart, and he told me “wenny, if i always accompany you everywhere, when will u become independent?” and i realized now, he’s right.
- well… hhmmm… my dad is too nice, he always prepare hot water for me to take a bath, even during my last vacation (i’mm 22!!!, and he still prepare hot water for me?!!!) and now, when i want to take a bath, i remember him, and i’m kinda addicted to hot water, couldn’t take a bath with cold water. i love my dad
- my dad doesn’t want me and my sisters to watch harry potter cos it’s not good, and he’s right, we waste our time by watching that movie, and it’s addictive cos the story is kinda interesting
- i bought a maroon shirt for my dad last christmas, and he loved it, and i feel happy that he likes it, me and my older sister brought it,, and i bought another maroon dress for me, and we wear it together during the 1st sabbath in the year 2009, and my mom let him wear it inside the coffin. i love maroon and i love my dad.
- my grandfather and my great grandfather were killed when my dad was still young, and he forgave the killer, so… i will forgive myself, and whoever and whatever the cause of the death of my daddy, cos i love my dad, and he tought me how to forgive people, i love my dad.
- when my mom is busy cooking and stuff and when my dad is dressing, he’ll always ask us (the children) if his shirt match with the pants and if it matches the tie… and i miss him, cos he usually chose unmatched colors which will make us laugh…and i miss those times,, so bad
Well… i think that is enough for today, i’ll write more later.. cos i don’t want to forget the good things that he had done for me, my mom and everyone,,,
my mom told me and my sisters that 4 of us are too spoiled, and maybe that is the reason why God took my dad away, for us to learn to be more independent and religious. God, please help us!!
hhhmmm… this day is memorable, cos the only person that i adore in this valentine’s day is my papi, my daddy,,,I LOVE you so much papi, and i will try hard and harder to be a good and religious person, so that i could go to heaven to see you agan,,, love ya
cRuSH
this is exactly what i feel ryte now
david archuleta – crush
I hung up the phone tonight
Something happened for the first time deep inside
It was a rush, what a rush
‘Cause the possibility
That you would ever feel the same way about me
It’s just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I’ve just got to know
Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’ away
Has it ever crossed your mind
When we’re hanging, spending time boy, are we just friends?
Is there more, is there more?
See it’s a chance we’ve gotta take
‘Cause I believe that we can make this into something that will last
Last forever, forever
Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’away
Why do I keep running from the truth?
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized
And I’ve just got to know
Do you ever think when you’re all alone
All that we can be, where this thing can go?
Am I crazy or falling in love?
Is it real or just another crush?
Do you catch a breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
‘Cause I’m trying and trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain’t goin’ away
if you wanna listen to the song, juz download it from 4shared.com hehe!!
this is exactly what i feel ryte now, and i couldn’t runaway from it cos i’m stuck together with him in a place called … i’m not gona type it, but i couldn’t avoid him even if i wanted to, cos we’ll always see each other til i graduate, ok.. he’s not my classmate. i hate this feeling cos i promiz myself i would never have a crush on guys like him.
i will avoid him.
How to break the rules?
my life have been crazy lately.. it’s crazy.. life is so mysterious and surprising at the same time.. sometimes i feel good,, sometimes dramatic.. and i tried to act normal everyday of my life as if nothing happened, and it works fine, but now, i feel like i want something different,,
this time, last week, i was out with my friends in dent, we had a retreat and it was great, i enjoyed it and i loved it so much. we did usual things like swimmin, kareoke, eating. etc.. but something’s different cos i felt closer to my friends and until now, i feel good and happy about it
i will go home soon, and for sure, i’ll miss dentistry SO MUCH.. i mean, i won’t really miss my indo friends cos we’ll meet in indo, but my filipino/a friends… i love them and i guess maybe for the first days in indo i’ll miss them so much. and maybe i’ll cry.
i love my friends in dentistry, we’re like a family and we know each other so well (i guess) cos we’ve been like together for a long time in an isolated area (COD building.hehe) and we’re close, and i don’t wanna lose them.
