I feel a little disoriented right now
it’s juz.. i dont know who to tell about what i feel right now..
dat’s why i have this blog
it’s been a while since i’ve been in the shopping mall, or places like that.. the last time i remembered is when i went out with my family to buy cellphone and clothes for me, that was the happiest day of my life, cos my dad were still there
i’m alone here, and i feel like crying,
my friends are graduating, so their parents are here, and my parent’s friends are here..and when they saw me, they were like feeling sorry for me cos of my dad and i acted normally like nothing happened.
back to the main topic…
i went out wid putri and ella this afternoon, we went to buy clothes for church, i was excited to buy clothes when all of a sudden, i remembered that the last time we went shopping, i wass looking for shoes, shirts and dresses and it took me like 6 hours to find a good shoe, and my family accompanied me
there was a time when my sister wanted to pee and she asked my mom to go wid her, and then they left me with my dad, i knew that my dad were easier to please than my mom, so i was asking for his credit card and he gave me without hessitating, it hurts when i remember that, he’s juz too nice.
then i bought a pair of shoes, after that, it was already late and i was asking for Jacket, and almost all the stores are closed, but my mom and my daddy still eager too look for a store becos that was my last day to be there with them, and then my daddy called me, he said “wenny, juz take this one” he pointed one of the jacket, the color was grey with a weird style, and i didn’t like it, so i refused… and now.. i feel guilty remembering that thing.
after that,, we went to pizza hut.. and eat… he knew that i love Pizza.. and i swear to God, i will do whatever so that i could go to heaven to see him again.
i’m not what i used to be, i don’t go to the mall so often, cos i remembered my family.. i dont want to waste money anymore, i don’t want to do useless things anymore..
this afternoon, when we gaze the clothes at the shopping mall,, i feel guilty, i don’t know why.. i feel sad, i remembered that my dad was waiting for around 6 hours juz to let me choose the clothes, shoes and other stupid things that i wanted.
my dad is too nice
i don’t know what to do,, i miss him and my mommy,
my mom don’t call me often, she’s kinda busy, and i’m glad that she’s preoccupied with other things, i mean, other than thinking about my dad, i’m sad thinking that she’s sleeping alone on their bed now, and she cook for herself and my sister
God.. Why are you doing this to us?
i know that other people can handle this, but I AM NOT the other people!!
i dont know who to talk with.. i’m so sad
and deep in my hear.. i still feel guilty that i went home last december.. juz to let him die..
if i dint go home..
this things wont happen
God .. could u please answer my prayer,, juz this time?
